Fascist Tank From 1918 Sent to Canberra to Reinforce Federal Government

Fairfax webloid and content aggregator Brisbane Times has today reported that the Queensland Museum's prized "Mephisto" - an army tank invented by evil fascists in 1917 - has had her dimensions inputted into Australia Post's online postage calculator in order to get an estimated cost for delivery to Canberra, which is to the south.

German World War I tank "Mephisto" this morning, with consignment notice attached to ensure accurate and speedy delivery.

"Mephisto" is one of only one remaining A7V tanks designed and built by the glorious German Reich, and was intended to crush lefties and liberals in France during World War I, which the Germans had started.

She was captured by the loutish jackaroos of the Australian 7th Brigade at Villers-Bretonneux in 1918, and shipped back to Queensland aboard a big steamer. Since then she has patrolled the streets of Brisbane, discouraging traffic from ungnarling itself by turning left or right off primary arterials to take alternate routes.

"This 30 ton instrument of the ravenous Deutsches Kaiserreich - the 'Dutch blanketfeet' - has proved remarkably useful for making things extremely inconvenient around the city of Brisbane for close to a thousand years," said Sandy McSnackerson, spokesmouth for the Queensland Museum.

"Twisted by the Warp, the forces of Chaos have taken firm hold inside her cold iron belly, turning her soul to black, if a tank could be said to have a soul. We understand that the Kaiser himself uttered the vowel-less incantations that gave her life beyond death," she said.

"So when representatives of the ruling Liberal party, currently obstructing reality in Canberra, approached the Museum and demanded an apparatus that would be symbolic of their archaic attitudes and almost comical intransigence, we knew we had just the thing to bolster their forces," McSnackerson continued.

"Plus, with her hot-riveted 30mm steel hulls, she's at least half as thick as any of them!" she concluded.

Postage of "Mephisto" from Brisbane 4000 to Canberra 2600 has been estimated at $16,300.

Queensland Museum representatives assured The Disgorger that the tank will need to be signed for at the other end, otherwise the courier will leave a missed delivery card and the addressee will have to pick it up themselves from the nearest post office the next morning, unless somebody else finds the card and just makes up a couple of signatures to put on the back, because Australia Post honestly has no idea and you could be anybody at all.